Taryn Carter's Mom

I remember a time when I was in sixth grade. I came home one day and informed my mother that, "Taryn Carter said that her mom will buy new shoes and clothes and hide them all from Taryn's dad in the hall closet". To which my mother responded, "That is just sad. A wife should never lie or hide anything from her husband." I dutifully agreed, and went about my life.

Cut to 18 years later. Randy, standing in the middle of my closet, holding a new sweater and a pair of shoes. Tags still on.

"Has somebody been shopping?" He asks.

"Oh yeah. I went to Trader Joe's and got your favorite dessert. It's in the fridge." I say, in a feeble attempt to distract him with food.

"No, I am referring to these new clothes." He responds undeterred.

"Oh. Thoooose. Um... yeah... I bought them for you"

"You bought me women's clothing?"

"Well, I know how you've been wanting to spend some time with me, and I wanted to look nice for you. I thought it would be special. Plus, they were on sale." I lied. Check Mate, I thought. How is he going to deny me this? He won't have the nerve to contradict this. What's he going to say... no, I don't want to spend time with you? Ha! I win! I win! I win!

"Baby" he responds "I think you look beautiful in anything. Especially in whatever you are going to wear when you exchange this stuff for that jacket you told me that I couldn't afford."

"Damn." Foiled again. Let's just hope I make it to the mail box first when my stuff arrives next week!

***note to my mother... I'm not REALLY hiding things from my husband. This is just my enhanced version of what really went down. ***