Tonight while I was in the ER some nasty old woman spit a giant wad of snot in my face. I was just inches away from her when I noticed that she was getting ready to spit. I said, "Are you going to spit on me?" And she took a deep breath, made that nasty throat clearing noise and fired away. RIGHT. IN. MY. FREAKING. FACE. My first reaction was to cold-cock her regardless of the fact that she was in her 60's. But after I calmed down a bit and rubbed germicide (not intended for contact with skin) all over my face and neck, I managed to think a little more clearly. We (me and the nurses) tied her down, and strapped a mask on her. I smiled when I realized that she now looked like Hannibal the Cannibal from Silence of the Lambs. I had to resist grabbing a sharpie marker and drawing the little lines on the front of her mask. I did, however, return to find that somebody else drew a smile with some fangs on the front of the mask. Priceless. Now let's just hope she didn't give me any disease.Wednesday, August 23, 2006
You are not going to believe how my day went...
Tonight while I was in the ER some nasty old woman spit a giant wad of snot in my face. I was just inches away from her when I noticed that she was getting ready to spit. I said, "Are you going to spit on me?" And she took a deep breath, made that nasty throat clearing noise and fired away. RIGHT. IN. MY. FREAKING. FACE. My first reaction was to cold-cock her regardless of the fact that she was in her 60's. But after I calmed down a bit and rubbed germicide (not intended for contact with skin) all over my face and neck, I managed to think a little more clearly. We (me and the nurses) tied her down, and strapped a mask on her. I smiled when I realized that she now looked like Hannibal the Cannibal from Silence of the Lambs. I had to resist grabbing a sharpie marker and drawing the little lines on the front of her mask. I did, however, return to find that somebody else drew a smile with some fangs on the front of the mask. Priceless. Now let's just hope she didn't give me any disease.
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4 comments:
Makes you wonder how worth it it is to get that big girl check....GROSS
Dear Jo,
Why are you wasting time trying to save people's lives by sucking out their snot when it is a well known fact that "laughter is the best medicine"?
Anyone who reads your daily RX of hilarity could easlily be cured! Do you take CIGNA?
I know all about the wine business, come to Texas, we'll open a winery. It's much cheaper to start here.
I just started reading this blog of yours, now I know where Irma Bombeck's spirit landed!
Your Uncle Doug's wife,
Laurie
At least she didn't bite your face off.
That is disgusting. I mean, just absolutely sick. Who does that? I don't know how you didn't bitch slap her.
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