Friday, November 17, 2006

Nothing new here...

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Nothing new going on around here! Just school, work, school, school, work, work, and destroying the occasional dinner and feeding it to Randy anyway. Hopefully I will have some good stories in the near future.

Oh, and for you bibliophiles out there with a little extra time on your hands... I found this website: Daily Lit it is a site that will send you pieces of a book at your convenience. And it's FREE! I subscribed to Wind in the Willows... and I'm already three days behind! Dang!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Another Reason to Hate Bank of America...

Christmas is comin'...

Probably not this year... but I think a Bulga Handbag is a great way to say, "thanks for being my wife!" or even, "thanks for doing the dishes this month" but somehow I suspect that I'm the only one thinking that!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Oh... and by the way...

I have been blogging for an entire year!
Happy Blog-Anniversary to me!
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And thanks for all the blog-love.
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After one year online, I have posted 165 blog entries and received over 2800 hits with over 5700 page views! Not too shabby!

I had thought about doing a "first year re-cap" but seriously... it seemed a little pathetic to do an entire tribute to myself (ok, actually I just didn't have the time!)

But if you'd like to re-read a few of my favorites... well, here they are!

The time Randy made hard apple cider or the time I told a Marine he was getting a sex change operation. I think we all loved Camel Toe
and my Muffin Top and the time I pissed of the computer geeks, but my absolute favorite is the time I ate a dead lady's cookies and brought in the fire department!
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Can't wait to see what another year of blogging brings!

Retirement Savings Calculator

I just googled the words "retirement savings calculator" for the first time in my life.
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I am officially old.
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According to my internet calculator, I need to have $1.4 million by the time I'm 65.
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I wonder how much I could sell Randy for?

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Race

I accept that sometimes people don't get my sense of humor. Occasionally I have been known to make a joke that was hysterically funny to me and, unfortunately, only me.
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Case in point: Today, I was walking from my car to my front door and the neighbor's kid ran right past me like a burst of wind while hollering something about being the "winner". He is one of those goofy (borderline pathetic) kids who has a very vivid imagination (usually because no other kid will play with him) and creates all sorts of scenarios in his "world". Today he was racing his mom to their truck. She, however, was not participating. She was carrying a very big box and trying not to trip over anything. As she passed me, I pointed out that she was about to lose the "race".
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Mom: "I just don't think he realizes that I can't run while carrying all of this stuff!"
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Me: "Well, I'm not above knocking him over and letting you run for it. It's never too early to teach kids this kind of thing.
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Mom: she didn't really say anything. I think her look was one of disgust and pity for my future children.
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Whatever. I'm funny. (and no, that is not the kid, it's just a pic I found online of some geeky kid!)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

I'm in love!


With a scarf!
How beautiful is this?

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween, Charlie Brown!

Kissing a Fool.

This looks like something that would belong to me.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Another Fine Birthday Gift

This is awesome! Tesco (a grocery chain) in the UK has pulled a pole-dancing kit for kids after getting complaints from parents. The kit sells for around $100 and includes a chrome pole, a garter and a DVD that shows girls some sexy moves.

Here’s how it’s described: “Unleash the sex kitten inside…simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go! Soon you’ll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars.” Tesco has removed the product from its kids section, but will sell it in its fitness section.
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Quite possibly the worlds worst gift for a 10 yr old. Unless of course you are Jenna Jameson, then it might be a good idea.

Friday, October 27, 2006

I told you so...

Christina Applegate (on the right)
Mary Kate Olsen

Jessica Simpson
All have dark nails. Just like I said!
Told ya so!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Love this story...

I love this story... and my favorite line is: It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you think?

[From Sports Illustrated, By Rick Reilly]

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots. But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons.Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day. Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowlinglook a little lame, right? And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.

This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangledby the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to controlhis limbs. "He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.'' But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room.

When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering departmentat Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate.``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in hisbrain.'' "Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!''

And after a high school classmatewas paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rickpecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran more than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then, it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore for two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running,It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quitea Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few YearsDick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a wayto get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans inHawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an oldguy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says.Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick withA cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon,in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don'tkeep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing anotherman in a wheelchair at the Time.``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heartattack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``Ifyou hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probablywould've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved eachother's life.Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick,retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreakingrace every weekend, including this Father's Day.That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in thechair and I push him once.''

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Lincoln Park After Dark

I'm so excited that my new nail polish came in the mail today! I just painted my nails with my new bottle of Lincoln Park After Dark (yes, that is the color) and I couldn't even wait to for them to dry properly before I started to blog about it. You have no idea what a talent it is to type with wet nails while avoiding any nasty smudges!
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Lincoln Park After Dark is this season's must have item. Well, not exactly. Chanel's Black Satin is this seasons must have, but there has been such a run on the nail polish, that it is now going for nearly $40 a bottle online! Seriously! It's a dark maroon, almost black. I loooove it. So, LPAD is the closest thing to Chanel, except it's around $5. That works, right?
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You see, I suffer from a terrible affliction. I have the fashion sense for a size "0", but not the body to match. So where I would be wearing skinny jeans, brown leather cuffed boots, and a giant bag (obviously not all together!). I am forced to wear old navy cargo pants, a hoodie and flip flops. But, I suppose we all have our burdens in life, right? At least my nail polish is haute!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Uh Oh

Randy is making beer again. I will let you all know if anything blows up in our "laboratory".

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Crocks and white socks ROCKS!

By now I am sure you are all aware how painfully over-stretched I am in regards to work and school. Because of my time constraints, I rarely, if ever, get to spend time with the friends I really care about. I have a drawer full of invitations to baby showers, birthdays, anniversaries, and other festivities, all of which I longed to attend but was continually unable. The few moments I have to myself are usually spent staring at a large pile of dirty laundry mentally willing my clothes to clean and fold themselves. So this afternoon was a special treat!
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I got a phone call from a dear friend, and we spent over an hour catching up and encouraging each other with our life endeavors (and, of course, making fun of other people!). It was a great time. Unfortunately, it was mandatory that my hour on the phone was also spent multi-tasking. While we chatted I started getting my stuff together for tomorrow. (I'm finally learning that 4 AM is not a good time to look for my stethoscope!) Eventually I sat down on the couch, let my hair down (literally) and put my feet up. Nearly 45 minutes into the conversation, I realized that I needed to find something for dinner (Randy is at work tonight). So I grabbed my keys, found my ATM card, slid on my comfy work shoes, and walked out the door. All while on the phone. I planned to drive through El Pollo Loco and get some chicken and rice, so it really didn't matter what I looked like, right?
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The conversation lasted as I drove up the boulevard and parked near the restaurant saying our goodbyes and promising to chat again soon. It was at this point I somehow forgot that my initial plan was to DRIVE-THRU!!!
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Standing before the register, I began my order:
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El Pollo Loco Register Guy: "Welcome to El Pollo Loco, what can I get for you?"
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Me: "Um.... well, I guess I'll take the chicken and rice....um.... bowl"
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It was at that exact moment, after the chicken and rice but right before the bowl that everything hit me. .
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In that little pause, the "um", a million thoughts were rushing through my head. It was one of those perfect Oh Shit moments. I looked like I had just crawled out of my own butt hole. (Click Here to get an idea of what I look like when I'm "lettin' my hair down").
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My first sin was the Crocks. Those ugly plastic shoes that are OHHH SO COMFORTABLE! Although I am sure my subscription to Vogue magazine would be canceled if they ever found out, I love wearing my crocks to work. And sometimes places other than work. But normally they are hidden under a wide leg cargo pant, so I find it somewhat justifiable. Today was not the case. Underneath my black crocks were a pair of white gym socks, the really short ones that cut my ankle at the absolute thickest part. (thanks mom's side of the family!) Above the crocks and the socks, the landscape really went downhill. I was wearing a pair of gaucho pants (I know, I know... so WRONG!) and an old thin t-shirt that did not match, yet allowed the color of my bra to show through (orange. bright freaking orange. hey, it was on sale). My hair was sticking in a million directions, and I WAS IN PUBLIC! I was mortified. That cashier could have charged me $50 for my chicken bowl and I wouldn't have noticed! I was wearing Crocks with Socks! I wanted to die!